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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Summer Time GLADNESS!

Alrighty, I feel like any of y'all out there following me know by now that I am absolutely TERRIBLE at updating this blog. #SorryNotSorry I will try my best to update at least monthly, but no promises. I do have a life, surprisingly enough! 

Let's see, my last update was around April/May-time. I'll give you the abbreviated version of my life since then:
  • I've become the Recording Secretary and Song Mistress for my sorority
  • I've moved houses; I now live in the ghetto! (Okay, not really, but the city is known for it's unsavory suburbs)
    • Please click on the link. If only for the chorus!
  • I'm working! ALL THE TIME! This is actually my first week off all summer
    • I've done work-work, like with the background checks and the DHS and everything
    • But I've also been doing Band Camp!!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!! 
(Only band kids seem to understand how much Spongebob= Life)
  • I've discovered I'm even more socially inept than I thought I was. It's quite terrible. I can socialize on the level of a 4 year old, maybe an 8 year old. (Which means I should totally be able to socialize with college guys right!? WRONG! Oh, so wrong...)
Yep... I think that about sums up my life so far... So let's focus on the fun stuff! 

Junior High Kids + Band Camp = 401Ks and Dating?

Band kids are already crazy, in case you are unaware of that. It's just an understood thing. Expect the unexpected, because it will happen at ANY GIVEN MOMENT! When you are least expecting it, a trombone slide will fly right by your ear into your stand, the director's baton will fling out of their hand and into the ceiling, a gauntlet will drop from the air and into your lap,... literally ANYTHING can happen if you're a band kid! 

So with that in mind, let me try and sum up band camp. More specifically, Junior High Band Camp. It's everything I just stated above that could possibly happen-- but an infinite amount more of possibilities-- all occurring in .000000005 seconds. Constantly. For 2 weeks. It's crazy...

But also really fun! I've had some of the most entertaining conversations happen these past two weeks. Examples include:
  • I've been informed by a guy that I am a dolphin, and my nose is actually located on my back (aka, the blowhole). 
  • I've contracted malaria while doing top-secret training over in Africa. 
  • Apparently, I need to date guys with beards because they get good 401Ks and can afford to buy me nicer things then beardless men. 
  • Either I'm 1) #foreveralone, 2) no man is good enough for me at this school, or 3) the "perfect one" is just around the corner. (Literally, around the corner and down the hall.)

Let me start off with Junior 1 (the first week). The main events of this week include the MatchMaker. (We'll call him Jack, for security's sake.) Jack the MatchMaker matched everyone up for the dance that occurs on Fridays, even the counselors. Only... he made interesting choices for couples. Gays and straights, two straight girls, etc... However, I apparently presented the biggest challenge. He spent all of camp trying to find me a date. As stated in my last bullet point, it went from "You are hashtag-forever alone" to "There just isn't anyone good enough for you." Then, while in the gym the night before the dance, he comes flying up to me and starts yanking on my arm. Apparently he had found the perfect guy to be my date! So after almost ripping my arm out of socket, he pulls me up to this dude. Now, the backstory is that the mutual friends of Dude and I have been hinting at us getting together for a year now, so obviously I assumed it was a joke. One look at Dude's face though and I knew it wasn't a joke. He was as unaware of this as I was. So of course, being the smooth person I am, I just turned around and walked awayJack was relentless though, and ran off to convince Dude to still go to the dance with me. I don't really know how that went, other then I did not have a date to the dance. 

Alrighty, so Junior 2 I made a joke that I had to go to Africa for extensive training, and my friend Sunny built off my joke by telling the kids that I caught malaria while there. I then got a present saying I was "2 Cool 4 Malaria." Then another child tried to set Dude and me up.
However, the best part of Junior 2 was the dancing. All the dancing. There were dance competitions going on everywhere, but especially on the big Dance Day. It started off as a bet about being able to belly dance between a camper and a counselor, which then transformed into a whole dance competition between the camper and counselor's teams. It was pretty great. 

All in all, life is going well right now. Hopefully this post left you with laughs and makes up for the absense. 

Until next time! 

PS: Here's a little more laughter for you! 

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